Soul Work

Last week I wrote of the essential nature of self awareness and the importance of feedback for the missionary leader. One’s effectiveness in leadership is directly impacted by the willingness to do this internal work. Leaders can forget making progress toward their God given vision or goals if they are not open to hearing how they impact those who work alongside them and those who follow. There is not enough blog space to describe situations I have witnessed where the leader refused, rejected, or passive aggressively misused important feedback that ultimately came back to bite them. Some situations included painful resignations. Most required interventions by a third party. All were costly in human and financial terms. What was missing in these situations? I think soul work, the willingness to be humble, vulnerable, open to the in-flooding of God’s spirit to forgive and transform. Then followed by the soul work of commitment to personal growth and change, knowing this is very difficult to do without leaning on God.

One particular area that I have found to be disconcerting is the use of powerful, unrestrained, ugly language by leaders. I believe that all of us have been negatively impacted by the unfettered use of incredibly destructive language in the media. We are bombarded 24/7 with all sorts and conditions of criticism, blaming, blasting of others. We have become numb to seeing violent acts and hearing violent language. Our culture says it is okay to use raw references and ugly comebacks. All of this has insidiously crept into our families, our workplaces, our social networks and our churches. Words have the power to build up or tear down. Too often the careless usage of these words smacks as attempts to sound hip and youthful. But each time spoken they reduce the credibility of the spiritual leader little by little. There is a profound expectation on the part of staff and average persons in the pew that church leaders will guard their conversations and be very sensitive to the power of language. But I am finding this practice slipping and it is impacting the respect people have for each other in the church. Although it may seem less destructive behind closed doors, ugly words and references can have huge impact. Often these exchanges are between people working together who otherwise are seen as models of good leadership. This creates a huge disconnect. This calls for even more soul work.

This brings us back to self awareness. Blindspots are often brought to light by persons who work closely with leaders, sometimes staff, sometimes key lay leaders. It takes courage and humility to listen to the pain that has been caused by careless words. It’s the leader’s job to listen and truly digest the impact of those conversations. Doing so creates an opportunity for forgiveness, reconciliation and new life. God is ready to renew those relationships if invited into the situation. Unfortunately, most persons who work with difficult leaders don’t have the stomach to initiate those conversations. This being the case, it is every missionary leader’s responsibility to be very sensitive to avoidance behaviors of staff and others who work closely with them. Asking, listening and sincere caring go a long way in restoring important relationships. The missionary leader is called by God to do no less.