Bogged Down and Stressed Out

In reflecting why I haven't written a blog in a couple of weeks I told myself how bogged down and stressed out I have been over ........ you name it. The list is boringly long. But it is that very same list of things that just changes names from week to week leaving me in a constant stage of feeling there is never enough time. Going to bed at night thinking about my 'to do list that I am behind on' never seems to help me get a good night sleep.

Then I had a conversation with one of my spiritual advisors, my 32 year old son who is passionate about his relationship with God and chooses to rely on God so much that he simply doesn't angst very often. About anything! He is the personification of a reminder to me about God's goodness, God's redemption and the way the Holy Spirit can change a persons' life. Conversations with him force me to be the learner, to stretch my faith and to be open to the wisdom of one's offspring. What is it about parenthood? This six foot five inch man is still the little boy I brought into this world. The child I parented, taught life lessons to, and watched as he stumbled through life to find his adulthood. Now God is using him in profound ways to teach me.

About ths bogged down and stressed out thing he said, "Mom, you have the work God created you to do. It is your 'dream job'. Why do you let it stress you out so much?"

Standing in my kitchen he struck a memorable, exaggerated pose, mimicking God with arms stretched out. In his pretending to be God he said, "I have given this great work you love to do Mary, it is a gift! You are the one who chooses to let it stress you out. That is not my intent! Your choice!"

Wow, nothing like a two by four between the eyes via a little dramatization!

I am sure I am not alone as a person fully engaged in ministry who allows the workload to sometimes get the best of them. Why, we are working for God, right? We have to give it our all, our best. Unfortunately this expectation I place on my self is self imposed. God has so richly blessed my work that sometimes I forget to give it all to Him. When I lean on myself, like anything else in ministry, I generally fail to make the mark. Yet God has shown me so often his satisfaction and delight.

I have felt lighter the last few days. Some of the scales have fallen from my eyes.

I am going to work to not be so demanding of myself, thanks to the wisdom of a son who gets it.