No More Parking Lot Conversations

I have the privilege of working with congregations and their leaders as a bishop's staff member involved in congregational development. One of the persistent behaviors I witness among vestry members is their reluctance to speak up about lingering concerns in the course of their meetings.

I am sure there are many reasons for this reluctance including not wanting to rock the boat or appear disrespectful. Whatever the reservation, this silence forces issues to go underground only to surface in parking lot conversations. Yes, people literally lingering after meetings beside their cars to air feelings about what did or didn't happen in the vestry meeting. A modern day alternative might be to send a quick text message or email to a like-minded person who was also present to air concerns or judgments about what was or wasn't done. This might be automatic behavior that is not conscious of the impact it has on group process.

Any way you slice it, 'parking lot conversations' are unhealthy for a congregation and its leaders. They amount to informal caucusing outside the bounds of intentional gatherings of leaders who are entrusted with responsibility. They are symptomatic of lack of honest and respectful airing of leaders' observations. This behavior is often exhibited in congregations where there is lingering distrust and less than good relationships between leaders, often leaders and their clergy.

It is incumbent on leaders of faith communities to be very thoughtful about the ways in which they communicate with each other. Clandestine meetings, parking lot conversations, closely guarded incendiary emails are always destructive. Always. So how can leaders minimize these behaviors?

First, vestry members and clergy must face the reality that people will be tempted to act out in these ways, especially when things aren't going the way they would like to see happen. Knowing this, vestry member covenants of behavior and meeting norms should be established in every congregation. These covenants should be communicated on websites, newsletters, and in very visible, high traffic places in churches. These covenants should be agreed to by nominees for vestry elections and reviewed at the beginning of every vestry meeting. Many churches commission their vestries annually during a main worship service. This covenant can be read out loud and in unison by all the members being commissioned. This practice is not only a public promise but sets a tone of mutual trust that all who make this commitment will work to comply with it. A covenant is not only a promise one to the other, but an agreement to demonstrate holy manners in a faith community.

Covenants should be as brief as possible. Episcopalians are notorious for their wordiness! It is important to make them as brief and to the point or their effectiveness is diluted. Covenants should be written by a vestry or an appointed group and approved by a vestry after thoughtful review. A written covenant may remain intact for years or edited as deemed appropriate. The point is to have one, to let the congregation know that it represents a promise by its leaders to be honest, disciplined and respectful of their relationships with each other. The impact of covenants on the culture of a church can be powerful and positive. A community of faith should expect no less of its leaders.

No Longer A Dirty Word

I am sitting on a plane returning from a meeting I facilitated of 30 Episcopal clergy, most under 50 years old, who gathered for three days to talk about the work of evangelism. They came from around the country, from small churches to cathedrals, from church plants to re-starts. The wonderful news is that these clergy from diverse theological perspectives agreed that evangelism is gaining a fresh and powerful emphasis in all of their ministries. They talked about the ‘why we do it’ and the ‘how we do it’. They shared stories of risking new ways to help their congregations gain greater understanding of the Great Commission mandate Jesus gave us all to share the Good News. They talked about the essential spiritual work that is needed to transform their congregations to be places that truly reflect the power of the Holy Spirit to change lives. To be places where people are free to share their faith stories without fear, not only with peers but with others within their faith communities. They claimed we can no longer dismiss evangelism as if it were the work of televangelists and somehow beneath our dignity as Episcopalians to be about this work. They agreed that evangelism can never be a program given lip service again. No, these clergy were expressing the need to make evangelism central to the work of their churches.
There was a lot of sharing, confessing of failures, celebrating others successes, encouraging each other to return to their faith communities and work with the most influential 20% of their congregations to understand the essential nature of this focus for their churches.

It was interesting to observe much more conversation about the need to see transformation from within than taking the church out. However, this was a huge start. By the end of three days it was apparent that there is a new found sense of urgency to be about this work and for that I praise God. There can be no more ‘decades of evangelism’ that are miserable failures. This isn’t about a short term effort that everyone is relieved to see end. This is about saturating everything our churches do with a spirit of sharing the Gospel. It is about infusing the manifest love of God through our lives, our actions, our ministries so that the world can see that we are Christians. It is about inviting others to come and see and be a part of accepting and loving communities that seek the power and presence of the Holy Spirit to change lives and bless others.

This meeting went beyond being a rah-rah session. The depth of commitment from these young and hard work Episcopal clergy of all stripes was incredibly refreshing. I truly felt that evangelism may no longer be a dirty word, at least in the hearts of these 30 clergy. Praise God. It’s a start.

Not An Academic Exercise

Turn of the year, days off, how will I start out on the right footing? I made the decision to jump into my cluttered office and dig to the bottom of the stacks laying around my desk and get a CLEAN and clutter free start. Actually, it was fun going through the voluminous notes, copies of emails, articles, etc. It was hard to finish the clean up because I had to scan each and every piece for its importance. I wouldn't have saved them if they had not been important, right?? What I found were numerous articles and materials on evangelism, leadership and congregational development. Scanning these documents helped me realize the huge effort that has gone into well written, academically researched and thoughtful tomes on these subjects. As I delved deeper into these papers, I wondered, if leaders and those who follow spent as much time actually doing the work of evangelism and development as the time that has been spent writing about these things might the church not be facing the decline in attendance it is experiencing?

Have we justified not doing evangelism by writing about evangelism? Psychology and behavioral sciences have helped us greatly understand leadership and the ways that our congregations work as organizations. This is worthy and important knowledge that informs us. But does it motivate us to act and to change our familiar and comfortable ways of doing things? Maybe. I sure hope it has helped some people. But I am afraid the academic exercise of writing and studying these things assuages too much of our guilt about not getting out there and doing something. Or perhaps these academic exercises have been frustration relief valves for those of us who have the knowledge but haven't found outlets for action or have deluded ourselves into thinking that we don't, when it is really about unwillingness to do something.

I believe God is calling us to act. I believe the Good News of God in Christ doesn't have to be overly intellectualized. Evanglism is not an academic exercise. It is about modeling. It is about living a life that demonstrates what we believe. It is about saying outloud that we have experienced God's transforming love and power in very personal ways and then sharing those stories. It is about leading in ways that we know are mature and faithful, building relationships and sharing Christ's love with those we lead. It is about leading congregations into mission and ministry like never before, radically inviting and welcoming others to join in.

We can continue to write and read about evangelism, leadership and congregational development. However, by the end of 2011 all of us who assume responsibility for leadership in the church need to be able to say, "I shared, I worked, I put into action alot about what I have learned and I trust God will use it for building up the Kingdom."

Put down the articles and books. Vow to put into practice what you know and help others to do the same. Are you ready as a leader to take this challenge in 2011?

Fresh Start

I don't know about you but I look forward to the turn of each new year. It is always a symbolic opportunity for a fresh start, a new beginning. It holds the power to redeem bad habits and turn them into fruitful and healthy behaviors if one chooses to allow it. I am not one for resolutions but I do believe in opportunities to begin anew. 2010 was one of those years for me. I knew by the end of 2009 something needed to change. I was too intensely focused on my work and not making enough time for personal renewal. I started the year well with a week off dedicated to rest and spiritual renewal. It was a quiet time filled with prayer, bible study and spending time in the outdoors during a balmy Texas winter. That week restored my soul and laid the groundwork for 2010.

The work of the Church is exhilarating and and at the same time deeply challenging. I rarely find it mundane. It is always about Christ's work in and through us. How awesome is that! Working for a diocese creates a unique perspective. Our work with the 153 congregations of the Diocese of Texas requires both a 10,000 foot perspective and an on the ground awareness. It is SO easy to see why churches get completely caught up in the day to day operation of their congregations. Their calendars are full taking care of their peoples' needs for worship, formation, pastoral care and a variety of other activities. Stepping out to do mission and evangelism in the world are sometimes overlooked because of the other demands. But to overlook this work is suicidal. The church will die a slow death if it isn't responsive to the needs of those outside our walls to know the transforming love and touch of Christ Jesus. This is the work that brings new life and vitality to a congregation and it should!

As we enter into a new year, this time for a fresh start, I encourage you as a leader to renew your efforts to share the Good News of Christ to a world that doesn't know him. One doesn't have to go far to find someone in need of this life giving message. Our personal connections, including our families, are often the greatest opportunities for sharing. Next, the communities surrounding the locations of our churches are filled to the brim with persons who have never been invited to join a Christian community, much less witness the transforming power of a group of people who seek to worship and serve God. Yes, our communities are far from perfect. Don't use that as an excuse not to invite someone in. When we fail to invite, we inhibit the potential of our congregations to serve.

So let us commit to some new behaviors in 2011. Living our lives out of gratitude to God, sharing the Good News of Christ with those who do not know him, serving others because Christ commanded us to do so, and inviting persons into our communities will all be acts of love that will have results beyond measure.

How will you choose to have a fresh start in 2011?

Transitions

Advent. The perfect time to remember that life is about constant transition from one time to the next. This transitional time is charged with expectation, anticipated joy and a new start. Jesus' birth was the greatest transition the world has ever known. Mary must have felt all the emotions that come with not only being pregnant but also knowing she was on a mission from God. Little did she really know how the birth of her child would change the world! Out of darkness and misunderstanding came the Word, the revelation of the spirit of God made manifest. What a transition!

All of us face transitions. The Church is no exception. Two weeks ago I was at a church where the rector had recently left to answer a call to another congregation. The leaders of that rector-less congregation were going through all the emotions of transition and change. They were sad, felt somewhat abandoned, abit angry at the diocese for allowing this transition to happen, and uncertain about what lay ahead. These very human responses are predictable when a church loses a leader who is held in high regard. Today I felt these same emotions when I heard about the death last Saturday of a priest who died in her prime from a vicious cancer. A woman who was reaping remarkable fruit in her ministry with a congregation that had recently moved across town and was restarting under her leadership. But I have come to understand that the nature of life is change. This priest transitioned to experience God face to face. We transition to a new way of living without her presence among us.

These times call for great faith and assurance that an all powerful and merciful Maker will see us through. We can choose to allow transitions to challenge our faith or we can choose to be expectant, to believe, to observe God working in ways that are mysterious. We can anticipate with hope what is yet to be much like the birth of Christ. Transitions are the very times when unimaginable blessings may enter our lives. Do we have the heart and the spirit to be open to the movement of God at times such as these?

In this week that transitions us from Advent to Christmas let us all remember the wondrous birth of Jesus and how it changed the world. Let us all remember that God is present in our transitions and be open to the good that may be born out of them. Merry Christmas!

Taking Charge

People in congregations really like having 'a say' in matters. They often prefer a collaborative approach to leadership by their clergy and designated lay leaders. Having 'a say' matters, especially when it comes to plans for the future in which people in the pew are expected to own, engage and finance. Collaborative efforts can be immensely successful and are often the standard of thoughtful leadership.

However, there are times in the life of a church when it is necessary for leaders to take charge, step up, make decisions, and move forward without the input of secondary leaders. Many of these times evolve out of crisis, malaise, and urgency. I have found it interesting to watch struggling congregations and to observe leadership behaviors in response to those struggles. In a crude example, sometimes the patient dies waiting for numerous doctors to coordinate opportunities to collaborate and agree on a course of treatment. Taking charge and making decisions for others takes wisdom, discernment and a faithfulness that runs deep. It also takes courage to face persons who don't appreciate the loss of opportunity for input. But sometimes taking charge is essential. Sometimes it is absolutely needed and actually expected by those being led.

I recently watched a vestry collapse under the expectation of the right to collaborate. There were underlying behaviors in their leadership culture that were not trusting of each other combined with an aire of entitlement. Might I define these behaviors as deadly sins of leaders? This extreme situation required the intervention of a clergy person who took charge, clearly laid out the decisions necessary, and defined the accountability. These risky actions were exactly what was needed by this broken, tired, unable-to-agree-on-anything group. They had collaborated their decisions into the ground and created an intractable situation.

This clergy person's taking charge provides a course of action, a road map to the future, a clear path ahead. Now it is up to each vestry person to agree or disagree to that course of action. It is time to set aside personal agendas and consider the common good for the congregation. One thing for sure, their success will be dependent on their letting go and allowing the Holy Spirit to move in and work amongst them. Healing, caring for the other in new ways needs to be fostered. Each leader needs to consider the possibility that what God intends may not look like what they personally want. Do they get on board? Do they get off the train? Do they support this clergy person's clear directives? Time will tell. In this situation, the well being of that congregation is at stake.

This is not an isolated situation, it often occurs in one manifestation or another in leadership circles. These are the types of situations where real opportunities can be captured, corners turned, dysfunctional dynamics challenged and improved. One thing for sure, when taking charge is absolutely necessary it needs to be done. The church can not step out in its efforts to be about God's mission in the world until it can get beyond being stuck. Taking the risk to take charge might be the very act that breaks open the place for God's miraculous work.

It Should Be Obvious

In the zeal of leaders to move a congregation forward, focused on a Godly vision that propels a church into a missionary focus, it is easy to leave people in need of pastoral care on the sidelines. Pastoral care, often the center of activity for many congregations, can sometimes be dismissed as too time consuming and human resource draining. I have heard clergy say, "I don't make visitations and I sure don't do hospital calls". After recently hearing this said for the fourth time this year I am beginning to wonder what kind of pastoral care is taking place in the congregations where those clergy serve.

A few weeks ago I facilitated an assessment meeting in a program size congregation where this need rose quickly to the surface, with people bemoaning the lack of attention to pastoral care, both in organized and in personal ways. Many people in need were slipping through the cracks, not noticed, not responded to in times of crisis and illness, symptomatic of a lack of organized pastoral response. The comment was made that the small group ministries in that church were not enough because they could not address the pastoral care needs for the entire congregation. Shut-ins, members not active in groups, and others were slipping through the cracks. There were no organized ways to respond to those persons and it was beginning to disturb many of the leaders in that church.

We all know that many persons will not voluntarily make others aware of their needs and then resent the fact that 'no one from the church responded or visited me'. This is a never ending challenge that exists in every congregation. However, it should be obvious that pastoral care is an important function of a congregation and it is the leaders' responsibility to set up systematic ways to address those needs. The key definer here is 'systematic' and not left to chance. And systematic must include numerous people beyond the clergy.

It is fairly easy to justify busyness, focus on mission and growth and other aspects of leading congregations as to the reasons why systematic pastoral care isn't being done very well. But something is out of kilter when time isn't carved out to respond to people who are hurting. The church has many resources today including Stephens Minstries and the less involved but solid program called Community of Hope. Both of these efforts train individuals to respond to persons in need. Identifying persons with the gift of pastoral care and arranging for them to be mentored and scheduled for making visits is one of many other options. One thing is for certain though, clergy should not opt out of pastoral ministry altogether. When they do, it sends a loud message that the spiritual leader of the community doesn't care. This message will powerfully overshadow any effort that leader is making to move a congregation forward into a missionary vision. It will undermine other efforts in congregational development.

If you find yourself in a congregation that needs a systematic response to pastoral care, what role can you play in getting that established? Don't hesitate. This obvious need should always be addressed with thoughtfulness and love for God's people. Only when a pastoral ministry is in place can a congregation ever hope to move forward into its God-given vision for its future.